Devistated

Today has been the worst day ever, yesterday followed very closely second. I have had about 5 hours sleep over two days and I can't stop crying so excuse me but I have to vent.

I don't understand how things got this bad, I thought it could be forever, I wanted it to be. Things went too far and got out of hand with both of us. He hurt me more than I have ever been hurt before and I never felt he changed. He did but it wasn't enough at the time. So I pushed him away. I didn't even realise I was doing it, I thought he would spring back but he didn't. And now it's broken.
I really don't want this to be it but I think he does. First day of uni and I couldn't even tell the guy I love how it went. Ended up leaving uni early today as I broke down in front of my tutor and he told me to go home. I don't know how to function or what to do, I just can't think about anything else. Everything reminds me of him.
Everything has fallen apart. Freshers is meant to be the best few weeks with loads of fun but this has been the worst, I just want to share it with him and be happy again. Haven't been happy for a while I guess but I would do anything to go back to when we were.
We both need time to think over things and maybe it wont work out and will get easier in time or maybe we will talk in a few days and realise it isn't the same without each other but at the moment my mind is set, there is nothing else I want more in the world.

What is a Koala without it's Troll.