The last time

Feeling alot better than I did last week. Still a bit sceptical I guess but I really hope this is going to be it now.
Ian called me Wednesday evening. I was infuriated with him but as soon as I heard his voice I just couldn't help but love him.
Thursday was the Freshers fair and I picked up loads of vouchers and had many free slices of pizza. In the evening it was off to the Freshers festival to see Get cape, wear cape, fly and Charlie Simpson.


Friday I hopped on the bus and made my way back to Uxbridge. I talked to my mom for a bit and ate lots of mint ice-cream.
In the evening I went to Ian's, we had agreed to meet up and talk. I knew what was going to happen but I wasn't sure whether it was what I wanted. I always forgive him but I just felt this time he really got it and knew how far he had pushed me and genuinely meant it when he said he wouldn't do it again. I hope he doesn't let me down again.


Saturday was spent at a wedding. I was helping my dad do the photography for it. Made myself a bit of money which is always useful. Went back to Ian's for the night, caught up on our stories and went to bed.
Jess came round on Sunday. I literally can't remember the last time I saw her. Unfortunately Han was busy which sucked but hopefully they will come up here soon to check out my pad :)
Was really lovely seeing her again and catching up over many cups of tea.
After a very yummy roast dinner my parents drove me back to Wycombe where I spent the night watching Disney films with Jess.
I woke up today feeling really rough. I don't have to go in for uni but I was going to go in anyways to do some work but instead I shall just do a bit here. Need to be better for this evening as it's Oktoberfest at the SU :)

Devistated

Today has been the worst day ever, yesterday followed very closely second. I have had about 5 hours sleep over two days and I can't stop crying so excuse me but I have to vent.

I don't understand how things got this bad, I thought it could be forever, I wanted it to be. Things went too far and got out of hand with both of us. He hurt me more than I have ever been hurt before and I never felt he changed. He did but it wasn't enough at the time. So I pushed him away. I didn't even realise I was doing it, I thought he would spring back but he didn't. And now it's broken.
I really don't want this to be it but I think he does. First day of uni and I couldn't even tell the guy I love how it went. Ended up leaving uni early today as I broke down in front of my tutor and he told me to go home. I don't know how to function or what to do, I just can't think about anything else. Everything reminds me of him.
Everything has fallen apart. Freshers is meant to be the best few weeks with loads of fun but this has been the worst, I just want to share it with him and be happy again. Haven't been happy for a while I guess but I would do anything to go back to when we were.
We both need time to think over things and maybe it wont work out and will get easier in time or maybe we will talk in a few days and realise it isn't the same without each other but at the moment my mind is set, there is nothing else I want more in the world.

What is a Koala without it's Troll.

Freshers begins

So that is my room and the kitchen, I would of taken a photo of the living room but it is an absolute tip :P
Went to the first freshers night at the SU last night which was pretty fun. Didn't drink a huge amount as I had an early start today but still got nicely sloshed. Met some new people, some of whom I bumped into today. Am going to the SU again tonight :)
Today was my first day and it went really well. Met up with Bekah and Verena in the morning, they were on my course last year, and went to our studio. Had a few lectures that I had all heard before from when I started on the foundation course. Had a few tours around the work studios and got to meet all the tutors. We then got to leave pretty early.
My housemates are still out so I have done loads of washing up and now just watching films and am freezing cold!

Internet in the new house

The huge lack of blogging has been down to the absence of internet in my uni house, however we now have it :D
I am now fully moved into the house and my bed is the most comfortable bed I have ever slept in, that is after I swapped the mattress with one of the other housemates, but they don't know :P
Not really sure what to say as so much has happened. Just been going out most nights with Jess and Shaun and watching many Disney films. Love having the independence so much and being able to do whatever and sleeping in til 2pm :P
Went back home yesterday, stayed at Ian's, ate so much pizza and watched a few films. Today I went into town with my mom to get all of my stuff for my course. I then did loads of work at home as I needed the printer and internet. So just have a bit more to do of my summer project and then it's all done :)
Back at the house now, might be going out tonight but I'm not sure yet. Going to get some dinner.
I shall take some photos of the abode soon, not that it's very interesting or pretty.

My boyfriend likes Portal

I also got him a poster by an artist called Daniel Conway.
Cake was rather scrummy :)

Moving in and a Troll's birthday

Thursday was the first day I spent at the new house in Wycombe. I got to meet Shaun, who is pretty darn awesome and the majority of the time we spend insulting each other, it's going to be a good year. After a standard student pasta dinner and a bottle of wine we headed out in town to explore the pubs and bars that Wycombe has to offer. We first went to the Antelope which was pretty good and then onto Butlers where we hit the cocktails. We were all pretty drunk by the time we walked home. And by walk I mean running down the road screaming and singing and chasing Shaun.


The next day we were all pretty hungover so spent the day curled up on the sofa in our duvets, only to move to get tea and change the DVD.
Saturday we all went back to mine, had some dinner, forced Shaun to watch Tarzan and then went to meet Ian and a few of his uni friends. We went to the Met and Treaty and got rather drunk. Was awesome to finally meet Hector and Tash.


The majority of Sunday was spent recovering. Jess and Shaun went back to the house but I am staying at home until Friday due to Ian's birthday.
Ian came to mine last night. I made dinner, we watched Sucker Punch and waited until 12 when it was his birthday! I gave him his presents which I hope he liked :) I shall post pictures soon.
We woke up this morning and had a fry up, we are now watching Rush Hour.
My parents have gone to Bruges so we have a free house which is nice. We are going to his in a bit for a BBQ which I am so excited for :)